Self esteem, self worth, and G-d not needing, yet needing, recognition.

November 5, 2017

It is a work in progress:
On the need to be recognized.

The need someone feels to be recognized, and the endless chase for that recognition, says that the person is not someone who feels inherently worthy. He is worthy only due to external factors. Based on the response he will receive to his words and also actions.

Ask a piece of gold if it needs to be recognized. Whether or not an observer admits to the value of the gold is irrelevant to the gold itself. The gold is gold.

Are our young being taught that they are only valuable based on what they do? Or are we teaching and imparting to them the fact that they are 'inherently' worthy, their very essence as the children of hashem is enough to give the children their sense of self worth and value.


Someone that realizes he is valued, regardless of people's perception and estimation of him; is truly a free person and feels an inner contentment and does not feel the need to run for fame or to be recognized, he know's his value is from hashem/g-d - his creator, not mankinds.

That is what love is. That the person feels worthy and valid and valued just for who he is.

Yet, unlike gold, people do need that first spark, that initial validation from 'someone else' or they can remain unaware of their inherent self worth.


 It can come from parents, siblings, teachers, good friends, but a human being must indeed be "taught" and shown that he is valued.

This is the paradox of being inherently worthy, yet needing the outside to validate you.

Because at the very basis of our world, at the core of our reality is the idea of relationships. That our world is made up of give and take. Sometimes we give, and sometimes we take.
Which is why a marriage is such a great joy, as it is the reflection of the unity in creation. The union of giver and taker. The inherent self worth yet the need to be validated.

Truth is begging to be recognized. But it is the truth, and it knows it is the truth, so why the need for outside forces to recognize it?

Cause that is the point. That the truth should be recognize I.e. penetrate even the most simple and lowest level of reality. Otherwise, the truth is in captivity, it is a barrier on the truth from being expressed completely.

If an idea is not executed down to the very last detail, then the initial idea is lacking. The goal is not accomplished.

Something that is true has to permeate all of existence the ultimate truth has to be recognized by everybody and everything. Otherwise, like mentioned, the truth remains, at some level, in captivity.

This is the idea of Golus, and of "Golus HaShchina" the exile of g-d's felt presence in the world.

And this is the idea of Geulah. The revelation of G-d HimSelf completely in and at every level of reality.


The truth is, that like inherent self worth of a person, G-d HimSelf IS at every level and in every facet of reality.

Yet, 'we', 'the world' have not yet 'fully' recognized it. Hence the lack of Geulah for us and our need to open up the eyes and see it.

That is the idea that even with an inherent sense of self worth, there is also the need for recognition and admission.


Shawn Lei adds:


"self worth can be external or internal, like a couple who has a wedding and focuses on how others view their marriage. internal self esteem is having a purpose, a reason to be here. a person may go through life on a covert mission that g-d has sent him, recognized by no one, yet has internal self esteem because he knows he has a reason to be here on earth.

anytime we expect an outside circumstance as responsible for our self esteem, it's probably an external form of self esteem


an example is the english translation of the hebrew word "kavod" which basically means weight, but it is translated as "glory." light has glory, you cannot have glory without it being external, and recognized by everyone. kavod, however can exist whether you recognize it or not. gold has kavod, the earth has kavod, it is something real, that doesn't require recognition.


a celebrity can seem to have all the esteem in the world, based on glory. but a covert operator may save the world, and be given nothing but a pat on the back by his colleague for completing the mission, or no recognition at all. the one who saved the world has true kavod, likewise, g-d may be recognized by no one, yet retain full kavod".



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